Maus Bytes

As I’m always looking for amusing things in the news or daily life to write about, something always has to come along and make me spit out what ever I had in my mouth and run to the bathroom before I pee myself. While that isn’t unusual for me because I laugh at everything, this one thing caught me off guard, thus making me laugh so hard I promptly fell off the bed and wet myself.

Imagine all the things created in this world that are put to good use every day. Tables, chairs, forks, knives, and all of those we use in our own home and when we go out to eat. Even things we rent now include videos, games, furniture, and trucks. But what’s the one thing we’ve been told over and over again and never think of it when we eat out? Or put a can of coke to our lips? Eat off the silverware when we go out to eat? "Don’t put that in your mouth! You don’t know where it’s been!"

Now that you are eying your can of soda like it has cooties, let me reopen that wound of,"Oh my god gross!" for just a few seconds more.

There are somethings that are just a,"No God please don’t!" that just shouldn’t be allowed to rent, sold is fine, but rent..

Here I am just reading stupid after stupid news report about how police in Britain are harrassing citizens for holding a camera phone, and the next story I click is this: Rent-A-Dildo.

I thought it was a misprint. Please God you have to be kidding me! Rent. A. Dildo? As I’m staring in utter horror at this page, I read at the bottom, "All toys thoroughly cleaned and completely hygienic."

And with that, a smile began to crack on my face, and the giggles just came out. Of all the things I’ve seen these days for rent, I never thought I’d see the day when you could actually rent a dildo.

God the imagery. I am now scared for life, and will never look at a coke can or a fork or even a couch the same way again, as I’ll be tempted to ask, if we’re at a friends,"Is that rented?"